Few couples never quarrel from time to time. The majority do so quite often because according to a British study, couples would argue on average 312 times a year. Does this mean that the two spouses are not sufficiently united and that they will eventually separate? According to experts, not at all, and it’s even the opposite that would be true! For the latter, the more the couples would argue, the more they would love each other.
Nowadays, where everyone is almost stressed continuously and on their nerves, it may seem reasonable that spouses lose patience quickly and argue. The fact remains that seeing a couple arguing, the thinking that most often comes to mind of most of us looks like “these two do not love each other,” or ” it will not last between them.
Now, for Dr. Gail Saltz, Professor of Psychiatry in New York, the arguments are more a sign of the health of a couple than its burst. Enriching, they would be a good way for spouses to express their respective points of view and feelings.
What Spousal Disputes Mean
1. We are comfortable in the relationship
To quarrel means that one feels good enough in the link to dare to express a disagreement freely and according to the experts, this ease reflects the love. On the other hand, having to take gloves or tweezers to share one’s point of view would be a bad sign in a relationship. A lack of arguments can be interpreted as a lack of commitment and a lack of confidence.
To quarrel means that one feels good enough in the link to dare to express a disagreement freely and according to the experts, this ease reflects the love. On the other hand, having to take gloves or tweezers to share one’s point of view would be a bad sign in a relationship. A lack of arguments can be interpreted as a lack of commitment and a lack of confidence.
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2. The relationship is compact
When a connection is active, it is not an argument that will weaken it. We are sure of the love that the other feels for us and vice versa.
The two disputants are not afraid to exchange their opinions. We dare to say what we have on the heart even if we know that our spouse will not appreciate. We do not fear for his couple.
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3. We feel confident
Feeling confident in a couple allows you to express your innermost thoughts and convictions as well as your needs while knowing that the other will respect that. To argue is a sign that one is oneself.
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4. We accept each other as he is
To be able to express oneself on all the subjects, even the most unpleasant ones since they are subject to arguments shows that the other one accepts us as we are, whatever we say. We trust without fear of being rejected because we feel loved. If we did not allow ourselves as we are, we would leave each other. Now, after an argument, we are always there, we are still reconciled.
We are not afraid to defend our points of view because we feel accepted as we are and we know that it will not change the way the other will see us.
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5. We seek to solve problems
To dare to disagree when some things are not right rather than letting go suggests that we are invested in the smooth running of the relationship and that we care about things going well. Communicating what displeases us is a positive sign that shows that we are taking a step forward in trying to fix things.
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6. We care about each other
Pam Spurr, an expert in relationships, explains that couples who argue a lot like their partner more than others. For her, the arguments show a concern for the other: “It shows for example that you want your partner to drink less and take care of his health, or that you want it to be punctual so that none of you are stress.”
We want to help the other to improve, which would not be the case if we did not like it. We are keen on him to seek his well-being by offering him solutions.
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7. We have good communication
The argument allows everyone to express their point of view and to realize that the other thinks differently, it is a way to share ideas.
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8. This shows that we are sane
By communicating our concerns, we avoid keeping things buried in us and harboring resentment against our spouse. Spouses who quarrel often have less envy since they externalize their opinions, desires, and emotions.
If you live a relationship without a hitch, it is, from what we have just seen, a sign that something is wrong! Find out what it is and if your relationship is important to you, try to communicate what bothers you …